Relationship or Connection?

Thinking more about the last post on the importance of my relationship with Aliveness. From a nonduality standpoint there is the question, “who is having the relationship”?  There must be two or more to have relationship. How can there be relationship if there is only One.

Looked up the definition of the word relationship and the ones I liked most were…. (1) The way in which two or more concepts, objects or people are connected. (2) The “sense” of being connected.

If I substitute the word “connection” for the word “relationship” a new understanding comes to light.  A true connection is not two separate things…but those separate things becoming one. All the different types of relationships come to mind such as family, friends, coworkers, casual, intimate and I look at them to determine if I feel connections or if I am relating as a separate self to their separate self. The second definition indicates that connection is a sensation or feeling.

I realize that most of my relationships are not connections but two or more sharing their separateness. I would like for that to be different and maybe that’s why a connection with Aliveness/Presence is important to me.  Although an open connection with others is probably…. absolutely… the exact same thing.

 

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Relationship with Aliveness

 

Still thinking about yesterday’s post on what is important and being able to build your life around the answer. I said “my spirituality is most important….my relationship to spirit trumps all other relationships.”

I didn’t realize that until I typed it. Now I’m wondering about the choice of the word “Spirit”.  The word comes from Latin meaning “breath”. Breath is certainly our invisible source of aliveness.

How can you have a relationship with aliveness?  All religions and spiritual teachers mention an invisible unknown mystery to life and give it some sort of name. We all know that the names are endless for that which cannot be named.  I guess Aliveness is as good a name as any, it doesn’t make your mind wrap around an object or make it personal.

It seems the only way I can have a meaningful relationship with Aliveness is to treat it like any other relationship that is important to me.  Be attentive, listen, nurture it, don’t ignore it because of the constant bombardment of thoughts, appreciate it…..love it.

 

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What’s Important?

Trying to look into my agitated mind today now that I have some time to reflect. Reading over a little journal I keep of things to contemplate and ran across this one:

“Ask yourself what’s really important and then have the courage to build your life around your answer.”

This seems simple until I think of what really is important to me…at this point I don’t really know. I can spout all of the usual responses but when you think about the second part of the question, it becomes more complex…..”have the courage to build your life around your answer.”

I don’t have a good answer but have decided to just think about it today.  I first think of health…happiness…family…honesty. Then the question remains how to build my life around one of those choices.  My response usually comes back to “my spirituality is most important”….my relationship to spirit trumps all other relationships….still don’t know exactly how to live it tho.

Today’s wonderings…..

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Reality…In The Shadows?

I was vacuuming my bedroom, pulled out the bed stand and noticed a dark spot on the carpet.  Since I have a new puppy I went about my clean up routine, got the cleaner and rag and started scrubbing.  I did quite a bit of scrubbing and the spot would not come out of the carpet. I looked up to the top of the bed stand and realized that the spot I had been scrubbing was the shadow of an object on the table!  It was the shadow of a fly swatter!  How crazy is that?

I wouldn’t admit to this except that my immediate reaction was laughter and the old tale of the rope being mistaken for a snake went through my mind. But then looking deeper, I wondered how many other situations/objects do I mistake for reality?  For those few moments I was convinced I knew the reality of my purpose ….to clean the spot obviously made by the puppy.  When in reality all I had to do was remove the object producing the shadow and my problem was eliminated.  I wish I could remember that seeking the Truth is just as easy…..

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Tell me a Story

My stories have changed yet again even since last year when this was posted but the reasons for stories will never change.

The Retired Seeker

At this time of year I’m reminded of the time I took my young daughter with me for a quick visit to a funeral home…not really anyone she knew so I didn’t think it would have an impact.  On the way home she became tearful and said she didn’t want to die. Not anticipating this at such a young age, I began searching my mind for something I could use to comfort her that she would understand….the Easter story came to mind.

We were not church goers but the preschool had been teaching the Easter story so I knew she would be familiar with it.  When I told her about the resurrection and that Jesus really didn’t die but came back again in a different form, I could see the tension in her face leave as she contemplated the whole story.  It was enough to comfort her and dissolve some of the fear…after…

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Cleaning the Lens…

I’ve only been blogging for a year and not very consistently. Inspiration to write ebbs and flows for me. I just reviewed all of the blogs I’ve done and most relate to my journey down the nonduality path. I just completed the Liberation Unleashed process where the only goal is to help with the realization that there is no personal self….that’s it…nothing else. All other spiritual beliefs and concepts are put away temporarily so that the focus is only on direct experience.

There is only one person outside of the blogosphere who knows of my spiritual journey and that I am involved in the LU process. Not that I want it to be kept secret…exactly the opposite. I am excited to share my insights but I honestly don’t know where to begin the discussion with anyone who has never heard of the no self concept. My knowledge of it has progressed over the years going from one path to the next and the different concepts all linked up together at some point.

I remember when I first became aware of the no self philosophy…it felt uncomfortable. I felt more comfortable keeping the personal self in a separate compartment I called the ego, small self, lower self or a “little me” in the background not to be confused with “my higher self” hanging out somewhere above my head. There seemed to be two parts of me each taking turns being in charge.

Realizing that the little me in the background doesn’t exist and never has existed takes some honest looking. Maybe for some it’s a spiritual awakening happening in a flash but for me it has been a slow process that started two years ago backed up by 25 years of spiritual seeking.

I still don’t know if any awakening happened….I have no expectations of enlightenment….realization is a better word I suppose. Nothing really changes….just a clearer lens to look through.

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Stories of the Unknown

A couple of days ago I wrote about hosting a rather chaotic party “Surviving a Whirlpool”.  The next day a wallet was missing which contained a lot of important info.  After searching the house from top to bottom, I emailed those in attendance to ask if anyone had seen the wallet during the night and where I thought it had been located.

Most responded with beliefs of what could have happened to it based on what they remembered that night. It even escalated into stories about who would have had a motive to steal it and how it could have been done. Each story led me to a new place to look for the wallet so I spent most of the day searching. On the second day I started believing the story that it had been stolen which led to all kinds of mental images of the crime.

This morning it was found inside a shoe, nothing missing, just lying there waiting to be found. I guess how it got there really doesn’t matter and still remains a mystery.

This incident reminded me that in order to make sense of a mystery the mind forms beliefs, opinions and stories in an effort to understand and before you know it the beliefs become so strong they are perceived as reality. We all had created quite the drama around the missing wallet.

So now that we solved the mystery of the wallet, what happens to all the stories and beliefs about it that seemed so real?  I guess when you find the Truth, you just have to forget about any stories or beliefs that got you there and let them go….

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